Monthly Archives: December 2011
30/12/11 A Gentle Hogmanay for Edinburgh’s Pandas
Tian Tian (Sweetie) and Yang Guang (Sunshine), Edinburgh Zoo’s latest guests, are “settling in well” and “very happy” according to our well informed and friendly guide during my Christmas visit to the zoo’s new £250,000 panda enclosure.
- 3 comments
- Posted under Science & Nature
23/12/11 A Gløgg is Not Just for Christmas
Wherever you are right now, dear reader, my money’s on it being cold outside. Granted you could be somewhere temperate – the southern hemisphere for instance – in which case why not bookmark this for winter, because the last thing you want right now is a hot mug of spice infused heaven washing down your [...]
- 1 comment
- Posted under Science & Nature
13/12/11 Santa Claus arrested in connection with phone hacking probe
Children across the world had their world shaken today when the Leveson enquiry into phone hacking saw Father Christmas taken into custody by Northumbria Police. Exact details are not known at this time, however it is understood that the arrest took place at Santa’s Magical Christmas Grotto in The Mall Shopping Centre, Middlesbrough just before [...]
Tags: Britain, Christmas, Leveson, Middlesbrough, Phone hacking, Politics
- 3 comments
- Posted under Mockery & Satire
09/12/11 Bullet points for an insipid presentation on library cuts
In a Middlesbrough council meeting on the 5th October of this year, 78 budget reduction proposals were drawn up for 2012/2013.
Tags: Middlesbrough, Money, Politics
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- Posted under Homework
03/12/11 Lingerie, Whiskey and Burning Flags
Hey, am I wearing lipstick? When I’m getting fucked I want to make sure my face looks pretty. – George Jung, Blow I put the news in my brain today. It didn’t help my depression. Not one bit. I hear the cuts with which we are being punished for the avarice and incompetence of our betters [...]
Tags: Alcohol, Britain, End-times, Journalism, Leveson, Middlesbrough, Nudity, Phone hacking, Politics, Press, Scotland
- 2 comments
- Posted under Rants & Tirades
02/12/11 Notes from a Dusty Box
The majority of the people who have read my earlier books regarded them as little more than poorly structured character assassinations, each a pathetic cry for help and a waste of ink and time. But then again if someone painted me in a less than favourable light, twisting my fondest memories and strongest triumphs into an [...]
01/12/11 Our Rock is an Alcoholic and We are Happy-Hour. Part Three
Question Time. BBC One, 10.35 Thu, 17 Nov 2011 Against a more newsworthy day’s backdrop of the biggest strikes in 30 years and my own Senior Lecturer – a former journalist at the News of the World – being arrested in connection with the Leveson phonehacking enquiry (later bailed until March), I have a deadline. I [...]
Tags: Alcohol, Britain, Denmark, End-times, Journalism, Leveson, Middlesbrough, Phone hacking, Politics, Press, Robots, Students, TV
- 3 comments
- Posted under Science & Nature
11/12/11 Three years of cuts and closures…
As I mentioned already, I intended on working my weird rant against non-recyclers into the last real work of the year – the vox pop assignment. However, the apathy of others and the growing realisation that I am just another hypocrite – three paychecks and some half decent head in a fast car away from turning [...]
Tags: Britain, Journalism, Middlesbrough, Politics, Vox Pop