MR PARLETT DOT COM

Welcome to the place where I put the things that I have written. My name is Chris and I am learning Journalism at Teesside University, Middlesbrough.

I am 32 years old and wear glasses to see things that are too far away. I like savvy females, humorous men and dogs that don’t lose too much hair when they jump about because I get asthma when I play with them and I don’t like that because I enjoy playing with dogs and I don’t like asthma.

I have lived in lots of different places so I speak words properly because people are always listening and asking questions and they need to understand what I say back. I don’t like the town I come from but I know that’s as much my fault as it is the Luftwaffe’s. I don’t have a girlfriend but enjoy playing the guitar, going for walks and drinking until the voices stop saying hurtful things.

If at any point you have seen me in the street and I appeared to ignore you then please, let me explain; this is often because I am embroiled in an inner conflict of anxiety and self-doubt, convinced that if I gazed into your eyes then you would laugh and spit or worse: rally a vicious, hateful mob to tar and feather me, then leave me for the vultures. Or I didn’t think you had a kind face.

I am looking for a father figure; a Labrador puppy; three parts of a four piece band; and a conflicted, sensual beauty, bitterly in love with a world she realises is dying.

I hope you enjoy reading and looking at or listening to the things here. If so, then why not buy one of my books.

Take Care,

Chris

If you have been affected by, or take offence at, any of the articles on this site then please be aware that the opinions expressed herein are my own, are not sanctioned by Teesside University and are not presented as objective journalism. Any content that is incorrect, misleading or deemed to be overtly cruel with no merit or reason will be removed upon request and with apology – unless it’s really, really funny.