EDITOR FOR HIRE

“Because you need professional help.”

I’m a British author with an art, multimedia design, communication and journalism background looking for other writers who’re smart enough to know they need an editor, because that already makes them smarter – or wealthier – than I was when I started throwing my own stories around.

I’ll be offering bespoke editing services: proofreading all the way through typography and design to print publishing and eBook formatting; then maybe even a little light social media marketing if that’s your thing. Every step or just those you require. Maybe you just need spelling and grammar taken care of, or story structure, or just want a fresh pair of eyes on that manuscript before braving the traditional agent/publisher route. Whatever you need, I’ll be there. I’ll weed out everything from those silly mistakes that everyone makes to glaring logical inconsistencies that only you could.

As you are no doubt aware, no one can be objectively critical about their own work. But beware the instinct to show it first to people you care about – they will lie to spare your feelings, and their time. Trust me, you won’t get anywhere as an artist being told, “It’s fine. Don’t worry. Come back to bed.”

You don’t need reassurance, you need honesty, and this is where the kind cruelty of an editor comes in.

Having provided this service several times to another author as well as self-publishing my own novels, I understand that entrusting work so personal as this to some chucklefuck on the internet requires a large amount of good faith. I did write a long, laborious autobiographical spec advertisement but the first draft came over more like a manifesto the police would only release a redacted version of to the press. Think of this as more of an elevator pitch – only the building’s on fire and you really should’ve taken the stairs.

I’m using broad strokes here for the window shopper or the easily bored. I do believe it’s important that a client knows a little about me, my past projects and any influences that may in turn influence the work I do for them. I’ve worked with enough people in many different fields over the years to know how important a good fit is for everyone’s mental health.

Well, in sales they teach you that when selling a product, firstly you need to sell yourself – it’s just I always found that a little too much like laughing at my own jokes. According to my CV – so it can’t be hyperbole – I’m hardworking, level-headed and conscientious, with a keen eye for detail; but how about we just move beyond self-promotion, now that we’ve established that I have no head for it.  

The proof is in the pudding, right? Well my pudding is all up in the above menu. Help yourself to a spoonful, go on, fill your face. Details of the books I’ve worked on and published are up front. You’ll also be able to get an idea of my methods and style from the old content here, which should help you decide if that’s an approach which makes sense or would just aggravate the piss out of you.

And so to the subject of money. Unless by some unfathomable chance this is the first speculative editor pitch you’ve stumbled across online, you’ll know that turning a Word document into a paperback is bloody expensive. I mean have you seen the prices these people charge just to spit on your shoes?

I’ve published with both Lulu and FeedARead, and use Kindle for eBook. Those companies also offer editorial services, plus there are plenty of others out there too, as well as scores of freelancers. So it is, since I’ve only just cut my teeth, as well as offering that personal touch, I’m looking to undercut the competition’s prices by a decent degree.

Just to give you an idea, The Society for Editors and Proofreaders (SfEP) suggests minimum hourly rates of:

  • £25.00 for proofreading
  • £29.10 for editing
  • £33.50 for substantial editing, rewriting and development editing
  • £36.20 for project management

Now I won’t be charging anything like those prices. Let’s say half that to begin with. However, until I see a sample of your work, I don’t think it’s even fair to give you a quote.

I’ve rambled on long enough. Thank you for your consideration, and good luck out there.

Chris Parlett

August 2019

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