Our Rock is an Alcoholic and We are Happy-Hour. Part Three

G.A.Harker. Don Quixote: Windmill
'Tis better to gasp one's last breath twixt the unspoiled hill and valley than suffer the ignominy of the turbines!

Question Time. BBC One, 10.35 Thu, 17 Nov 2011

Against a more newsworthy day’s backdrop of the biggest strikes in 30 years and my own Senior Lecturer – a former journalist at the News of the World – being arrested in connection with the Leveson phonehacking enquiry (later bailed until March), I have a deadline. I should’ve written this a week ago but I’m shit and lazy and I think I might be losing it, again.

All we had to do was prepare a three minute talk on one of the subjects discussed in the above episode of Question Time. There were plenty to choose from:

  • The one million 16-24 year olds that are now unemployed. (Make ’em join the armed services, teach ’em some farkin discipline. The conscientious objectors can look after the old, infirm and disabled – at gunpoint, so they behave.)
  • Bankers tax? (£700 Billion bail out? By my drunken maths that’s £10K for every man woman and child in the UK. We could’ve bought Greece for that AND cut our carbon emissions by never flying home from holiday.)
  • As the strongest economy, Germany is able to dictate policy to us. (It’s better this way – remember what happened the last time the Reichstag burnt?)
  • Syria. Why no Libyan style intervention? (Iran.)

I chose: Why is our Government pushing up our energy bills by giving subsidies (£50 for every £100 worth of energy produced) to windfarms which are proven to be uneconomic? Continue reading “Our Rock is an Alcoholic and We are Happy-Hour. Part Three”

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Notes from a Bar-Crawl

The following notes from the pub are a waste of my time and yours. Consider yourself warned.

If you think it’s a rhetorical question it isn’t, and vice versa; if you find it offensive, it’s meant as a joke; if it makes you go all tingly down below in your sexy parts then I have pornographic movies in my apartment, and lubricants, and amyl nitrite.

A Drunken Afternoon in Middlesbrough
A Drunken Afternoon in Middlesbrough

Continue reading “Notes from a Bar-Crawl”

Still Life Show and Tell.

I should be reading the 12th chapter of the phenomenal page-turner Essential Public Affairs for Journalists, or actively seeking to contain my growing impression as an agoraphobic misanthrope, or working on the news-writing exercise, or doing some laundry, or perhaps even working out as I listen to current affairs via iPlayer; but no, I feel the need for another extraneous ramble.

So that stuff there, well, there’s a Transformer on a keyring that has the key to the windows and a bin key. The waiter’s friend has now been used to open the wine. Continue reading “Still Life Show and Tell.”

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