
For school homework, fellow student Xavier Foster-Pullman and I recorded a ten-minute pilot for a podcast where we would ask guests, “Where are you from originally?”
AUTHOR | ELDERLY SCHOOLBOY | IDIOT
For school homework, fellow student Xavier Foster-Pullman and I recorded a ten-minute pilot for a podcast where we would ask guests, “Where are you from originally?”
Monday January 9, 2023
Well, I hope you all had a lovely Christmas. I was down with stomach flu but needed to write a presentation on ethics in journalism; so, delirious with discomfort and permanently online, seasonally depressed and unable to keep a drink down for the purposes of self-medication, I’ve been reflecting on that old ethical dilemma of whether journalists actually have any.
Ethics, that is. Continue reading “1. Journalism Attracts the Worst”
We’ve been asked to write about racism in the UK. Are we covertly racist or genuinely inclusive? I immediately sat and hammered away a draft, thinking I had a pretty good sense of things; subjectively, of course. Waking up the next day, I sat for my morning movements while doom-scrolling the news, as is tradition – and oh my good Lord in hell. Continue reading “What Rhymes with UK Racism?”
More unscripted drunken nonsence.
Forza Horizon 4 does a brilliant job at parts of Edinburgh. It’s close enough to have a fever dream confusion to it if you know the city well, which I do, but you wouldn’t know it from this video, (Argentine Malbec.)
They left out Leith completely though and that’s unforgivable.
When the future Mrs Parlett rocks up on her motorcycle, looks me up and down with a sneer and asks me where the fuck I’m from, I’m going to suggest she watch this before we get too involved.
The longer film is in development hell.
We can’t trust mainstream media but the alternative can get real batshit real quick.
I thought I’d record some thoughts rather than write them for a change. Thinking about finishing off my degree so need some up-to-date material. I might do more or I might just do some audiobook stuff. Thanks for stopping by. Have a great fucking day xX
Hey, remember me? Yeah, I’m that fat facetious piece of shit who once wrote popular articles, both of them around the starts of ’12 and ’13 (and by ‘popular’ I mean more than thirty Facebook likes; and by ‘articles’ I mean social media toss but who are you to judge—if you can bare to look at yourself in the mirror for long enough to brush your teeth without poking out one or both eyes with your Oral-B then you’re clearly delusional anyway and we have much in common so let’s continue, you daft twat.
Christ, I forgot, there was that one about the Pope as well. Some liked it, some prefer living out their life as an indentured servant to a make-believe tyrant and counter ferociously any attempt to make them, you know, read what even the Tory rags of this rag-tag island of toe-rag proles can hardly deny. Need a final clue? Really? It’s child rape, my dear, and I’m never playing charades with you at Christmas. Continue reading “More Goddamn Books”
…would make for a great epitaph, no?
Anyway, and stop me if you’ve heard this one before, but a few years ago, when I’d moved back to the UK, I started sending out copies of my second book to literary agents (it was smaller, so cheaper to post) with nothing to signify who it was from or why but for “Please HELP me!” scrawled with a black Sharpie on the stark white of the cover.
My website was printed small by the barcode on the back at right angles to the jacket text and such was my naive, unfucked brain still fresh back in the fire that I felt anyone reading this GENIUS would want to seek him out and anyone WORTHY of representing him would be both able and willing, nay delighted to work their way through these cunning yet intriguing layers of mystery. Continue reading “Words From a Writer Too Stubborn to Fail”