My girlfriend has a cat whose name is Poppy.
Poppy likes me. Poppy loves my shoes. Poppy doesn’t care about politics, sex or foreign conflicts. She will only drink water from the tap in the bath.
All hail Poppy.
I wish I had a tail. That’d be great, can you imagine it?
Miaow.
I do not respond to cat videos. If I did, I would only make some inappropriat comment about how beautiful Kitty’s pussy is