Johnson Put in Risky Position

In a clear miscommunication of Ukraine’s request for absolute weapons, former Prime Minister Boris Johnson revisited Kyiv last Sunday to meet with President Zelensky. Johnson was most recently in the news regarding his dealings with the BBC Chairman who allegedly helped him secure an £800k loan.

With a number of hungry children disclosed as seven, a former fortune reportedly already given to an ex-wife in lieu of fidelity, and the half-million advance on his unwritten Shakespeare book doubtless already frittered away on gold wallpaper for Carrie Antoinette, the honourable member for Uxbridge and South Ruislip needs all the positive press he can get.

His pledge that Britain would “stick by Ukraine as long as it takes” was unclear as to what “it” is but it’s hardly a stretch to posit that this current accusation of impropriety be met with a scheming trip to Kyiv for a photo opportunity with a leader strong enough to call the tyrant invading his country a “nobody”. It would suggest that Johnson thinks us plebs to be so easily manipulated with the distraction of standing on the shoulders of a giant, only then to harp on about it in a sickening and pretentious piece for the Daily Mail.

As appealing as it would be to refer to him waddling off like a chicken to Kyiv, Johnson, like a stopped clock, has timed the sentiment right. Maybe I’m just being cynical but I imagine the scoundrel using an airstrike the same way he used his handshake with Covid – and who would be surprised if even an artillery shell bounced off this Teflon con.