God is in the Radio

My Mother once said to me, “You can go to Australia on your own but you can’t go down the corner shop.”

I find that succinct in a way no GP, shrink or bar-room confidant as yet has managed.

I can’t seem to get out of this slump but the show goes on around me so rather than hide in Hyrule or Modern Warfare or – God forbid – an actual book, I gave it my best today. This morning began at 7am and saw me presenting my second solo radio show for ClickTeesside – ‘Your Campus Radio.’

As I mentioned before, I need to get some headshots and soundbites for the recycling assignment, so I decided to present a scripted cry for help and see what I got back. The Gremlins weren’t having any of it though plus I was tired and frazzled so it all came across as haphazard and dry.

I don’t think I should mix these two mediums just yet; I’ll grab people on the street for the vox pops rather than cheating and stick to playing good music from 8-10am, bright and early every Thursday.

In the next week I’ll be putting some snippets up here for those of you too asleep or working to listen in. I have another assignment due by Wednesday which is basically 1,500 words showing I both understand the rules of broadcasting, and aren’t some twisted maniac with a terrible agenda. Ergo, next week may be my final broadcast.

I’m supposed to be going for a few pints tonight; I know I should make the effort; I know I need to be around people as I am already something of a social pariah but, I don’t know.

Jameson was on offer at the supermarket so I guess I’ll sink a few of those, man up and head out. Thank God all the codeine is gone.

For the hell of the word-count, here’s that script as I read it. I hope these words find you well.
Good Morning Teesside. This is clickteesside.com, your campus Radio and you’re waking up with Mr Parlett. 

Now, dear listener, I have a question for you, yes YOU – be you student; staff; member of the public or extra-terrestrial of the closest habitable exoplanet thus far discovered, some 20 light years away, deciphering a degraded broadcast that to your telescopes appeared to originate from a world much like your own but in the next decade or so, as the light reaches you, will show itself as a burnt cinder ruled by Satan.

My question is, do you care about your environment? The more emotionally stable among you will know that the earth will recover even if we do make it uninhabitable for humans, and the intelligent beings that evolve after us – possibly some form of giant winged squirrel – will happily fill their gas tanks with the fuel of our fossils – but wouldn’t you rather it was your children’s children that sought out new civilisations among the distant stars rather than a bunch of nut eating monsters?

“Oh but I’m just one person, what difference can I make?” I hear you say. Well, for starters, how much of your waste do you just toss in the bin? Is it really waste, or can it be recycled?

We’ve got no more than seven years left of landfill in this country so what are we going to do, start dumping it abroad along with all other harmful crap we already do?

I’m not here to preach to you, it’s too early for that anyway. No, I just want to hear what you think about recycling – do you think you do enough? Is the council or the university doing enough to help you? Do you find the amount of packaging these days obscene or would you rather not think about it at all. Would you prefer if I just stopped with the annoying speaking and played some songs?

Send me you views online or you can head over to my blog at mrparlett.com

Anyone, enough of that for now, you’re listening to clickteesside.com, ‘Your Campus Radio.’ My name is Chris Parlett and I’ve got some great music coming your way over the next two hours. First up I’ve got The Village People, with YMCA.