A One Hundred Word Story About Work

I’ve been trying to make myself sound professional on LinkedIn but, rather than simply batter myself to death with the keyboard, I decided to have a little fun with the Honors & Awards section. Either the result is the best thing I’ve ever written or I really ought to get some sleep.

Runner-up in a LEGO contest

I won LEGO. It was a big box containing pieces that would’ve made my entry even better – perhaps even better enough for first place. There was a certificate as well but I don’t remember ever seeing that again. I asked my mother recently but she told me she hadn’t either. I reckon my stepfather tore it to pieces in a vicious fit of jealousy on account of what I’d built – a crane like those my father operated; my father who was never around. If only it’d been my stepfather operating cranes instead. He had a bad leg and might’ve slipped.

Now is it me or does that feel less like something a recruiter would expect from a potential employee – hair cut sensibly of his own free will, I might add – and more like a patient’s frantic whispers to the orderly leaning over him so as to strap his other arm to the bed?

It’s all part of the plan of course, my dear. Jobs for the strange are the most interesting.

Goodnight.