Tag: Students

Giving blood for the first time

An experiment was carried out to illustrate the effects of blood loss on the efficacy of prescription opioids and Tennessee sour mash whiskey.

Bloody, innit.
The first time I’ve put blood in a bag instead of on the street.

I’ve been terrified of needles since as far back as I can remember – one of my earliest memories is being wheeled screaming down a dimly lit corridor into theatre to have my adenoids pulled out by what I understood at the time to be a drunken bear with a pair of knitting needles and a claw hammer. Although I seem now to be slightly less of a sissy than I was then – helped along by knee surgery and medical trials – I still feel incredibly nervous at the prospect of metal piercing my skin.

But, well, sometimes you’ve just got to quit whining and do something nice for a change. Continue reading “Giving blood for the first time” →

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Our Rock is an Alcoholic and We are Happy-Hour. Part One

My shower is an idiot. There are two in the house but they are identical and I choose the one with ventilation because I value being able to both breath and see when I am in a confined space.

On the road I’ve gone weeks without a proper wash; I’ve also nearly drowned a couple of times. This isn’t about such severe ends of the bathing spectrum but more to do with an apparatus that was invented by a person and constructed by another; about the methods of its operation which I assume must have had a certain degree of reasoning behind. Continue reading “Our Rock is an Alcoholic and We are Happy-Hour. Part One” →

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A Brain Full of Slime

There was no me on the radio today. For anyone tearing their hair out in desperate grief here is a picture of me feeding dinosaurs at the weekend:

Unfortunately I’ve been sick these last few days with what at first I took to be a deadly new contagion that would torment my organs into a viscous paste before sending my pitiful soul straight to the upside-down hell of the agnostic; fortunately, after rest and gentle consideration it turns out I have contracted the more common but no less debilitating man-flu virus. Continue reading “A Brain Full of Slime” →

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Radio Friendly Unit Shifter

Tuesday just gone was my second assault on the airwaves. It went well.

Things are getting more and more hands-on and my nervous jabbering is beginning to be mistaken for a growing competence that would lend itself to its own show. The persons in charge want to push out new programming and they also want to start having pre-recorded weekend shows rather than just an automatic playlist (there’s no security then so unfortunately we can’t do live broadcasts.) Continue reading “Radio Friendly Unit Shifter” →

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Headline for a Piece about Blog Entries

There would be words here, the words would tell you things, there would also be links. That one takes you to tside.co.uk which is where the proper-serious-correct-and-checked-by-a-teacher-so-it’s-not-shit-and-libellous-like-most-of-the-stuff-on-here will, in future, be found.

Me with my shirt off, around the time you were born.

Any of the views expressed on this blog are poorly constructed and offensive to both creed and intellect; they do not, nor will they ever, reflect those of Teesside University. Continue reading “Headline for a Piece about Blog Entries” →

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Radio Ga Ga

I got to the Click station early and after babbling my usual brand of confused and terrified explanations I was shown to the studio where a broadcast was in full swing. Two girls were being shown the ropes by a chap I took to be a Professional but they were giving it such gusto that I was unsure if they actually were noobs like me. They finished off their set and one of them spoke to me; she was cute as hell. Concentrate, Mr Parlett.

Enter Ben ‘The Redwood’ Harker, Producer/Presenter of the 4-7 slot and all-round nice bloke. He talked me through what we were up to and sent me to fix a couple of audio clips in the editing room. I didn’t break anything so was quite pleased about that. Continue reading “Radio Ga Ga” →

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Living Tasted Better Than Healthy Felt

I’m pretty sure the people I live with think I’m a bit of a freak. Notwithstanding my forgotten but undoubtedly questionable conduct when drunk, I have shown to have in my possession an amount of kitchen equipment that would seem to rival all but the most thorough of small rural restaurants; and yet I haven’t cooked once.

I’ve been here nine days or so yet I haven’t cooked once. There’s a reason why – a mighty, engorged, sweating mass ten inches above where I would want adjectives like that used. Yep, I’m a fat bastard. A condition I wouldn’t say has exactly crept up on me but nor have I attempted any form of escape. I’m one of those guys where the fat sits hard on the belly and the arse, if I was a dead president’s head in a jar, 1000 years from now, I reckon I’d get on alright with the ladies. Nervous twitch n’all. Continue reading “Living Tasted Better Than Healthy Felt” →

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Hello World…

Well… here I am.

I’ve been in Middlesbrough three days now, moved here after a year in Glasgow to attend university. I haven’t lived in England for more than six years and although the mortal terror I feel almost constantly is more a product of my own personality disorders than an indictment on the town it is still very strange being back among my own kind. Continue reading “Hello World…” →

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